With Open Hands

Lunch today was all about laying down expectations, and receiving the unexpected. I have found myself too often saying no to so many opportunities to connect with people, through workday lunches, through social media. Head full of suspicion regarding others' intentions at getting close, or genuine interest in getting to know me, I have found myself more and more alone. It is as though I would rather have no friends, if not perfect-match ones.

Today, though, I said yes, remembering that I had promised. I chose to connect over a meal with non kindred spirits. Yes, I would not be sharing my deeper thoughts, I would need to behave properly. It was not likely conversation would turn to my favourite subjects. I would have to listen to others. I would feel awkward, because I'm not a great small-talker. And I was right about all of it.

Still, there will come a time when I will look back upon this day, and cherish it, simply for what it is. I shall remember that when I stubbornly grasp my preconceived notions and expectations in relationships, my hands are unable to receive the many precious, simple gifts that come with everyday relationships.

Today, the gifts were simple, but so, so needed. There was glorious Thai food - with layers upon layers of flavours and just the right amount of spice. There was a mellow cup of matcha latte, bitterness and sweetness calibrated to perfection. There was even an art exhibition we stumbled upon - with a message so clear it was not possible to miss. But most of all, there was a growing sense of acceptance of these colleagues as my friends - just as they are.

Thank you, J & C, for reminding me, without words at all, of what friendships could be - simple, free, and open.

Holding onto God's promises in the area of relationships

What a perfect reminder of what God values - community

Still Life in Gratitude

This may seem like a rather ordinary dish of ngoh hiong, but for me, it was notable enough to deserve a picture. It was primarily because of the sliced cucumbers encircling the pile of golden morsels of meat, accompanied by prawns, mushrooms, and crunchy bits of water chestnut. Being a full time working mum to a two-year old, who still insists on cooking almost every meal, embellishments such as cucumber garlands are simply not a priority.

The ngoh hiong - tasted again now by the heart 

And I'm so glad I did capture that quite ordinary gift, before it was digested and forgotten all about, for as I now see, it was really quite extraordinary. 

Wrapped up in beancurd skin, there was so much to be thankful for. 

My Mum

It was she who prepared these ngoh hiong meat rolls, steamed them, and brought them over one day during a week of solo-parenting. She knew that I would surely not have bothered to cook for one (adult). But she also didn't anticipate that I would have saved them when the husband returned, and I would have to cook! 

My Grandmother

It would have been her recipe - or an impression of it, which my mum used. She's no longer with us, but it is a wonder that we continue to be blessed by what she used to cook.

My Niece 

The meat rolls, themselves, were an extra portion from a birthday gathering for my niece the day before. Thus, she, too, had a role to play in how they came to be! Ngoh hiong are among my all time favourites, so I am thankful I got to enjoy them twice in a week. 

My Husband

Those ngoh hiong were gifted to me steamed, fully cooked, and edible, though not exactly how they would be most delicious. All who are familiar with this dish would know that they must be pan-fried to perfection - golden brown and crisp. All who are familiar with cooking this dish would know that this often proves to be no easy endeavour! This is especially when there is no non-stick frying pan in the house. That evening, as I gave my full attention to each little detail required for perfectish ngoh hiong, in the background I could hear the lively chittering of a little voice responding to her father's animated read aloud. That's something to be thankful for. He was just home from a few days away on a mission trip, and it was our first home-cooked meal together since then. That ring of cucumbers - it was my attempt to be celebratory! 

So here it is, my little study in gratitude - surely a gift in its own right! These simple, common graces are so much sweeter when they are noticed. In noticing, gratitude is deepened. And so it goes on an on. "Thank you" becomes so much more than merely a matter of manners. 

Five Loaves

A basketful of empty notecards in celebration of Good Neighbours' Day sat invitingly in church one Sunday. We happened to be sitting beside this basket for church lunch; so conveniently I picked a few, naming them as I went: This is for Uncle Dan, this is for Uncle Alvin, this is for Aunty so and so, and so on. It would be nice to send these along with a little gift. My little accountability partner heard it all.

Our five loaves... and one extra! 

And so we did. Cookies were not meant to be, as white chocolate and cranberries were missing. There were overripe bananas, perfect for baking, so mini banana loaves it was. With a second pair of little helping hands, we measured, poured and stirred and ate spoonfuls of mashed bananas and chocolate chips along the way. 

We did the first round of door-knocking on a Saturday evening - only one family was home. Sunday was a busy day for us, and it would have been challenging to go door-knocking, but this time, it was God who divinely arranged for us to run into three other families while we were going out or returning. With one family, we felt the ice break - I've always wanted to get to know them better, but it was not until last night that we chatted a little more at their door step. What an encouragement this was to me! 

I hadn't had the presence of mind to reason and figure that a recipe for a single loaf of banana bread wouldn't be able to feed five families adequately. But mini-loaves are the perfect size for gifting by little hands! And how eager these hands were. When I suggested that it could be time for the gifting of gifts, two eager feet pitter-pattered straight to the door, and two little hands were quick to put on her shoes. There was no shyness, no reserve in my little two year old, only childlike confident expectation that her gift would be received. She knocked on doors and waited, then offered her little packages as though it were the simplest thing in the world. 

And it should be. Thank you, little bunny, for setting the example and leading the way. You've shown me that giving can be approached with boldness and simplicity, without expectation. As for shyness and fear of rejection, what are they? 

And so, bake on, we shall, my bunny and I!

Banana and Dark Chocolate Mini-Loaves
Adapted from Jessica Fisher's Not Your Mother's Make-Ahead and Freeze Cookbook
Makes 6 mini loaves

Ingredients
2/3 cup golden granulated sugar
2/3 cup extra virgin olive oil*
2 eggs
1/4 cup full-cream milk
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup very-ripe bananas, mashed
2/3 cup plain flour
2/3 cup whole-wheat flour
1/3 cup rolled oats
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup dark chocolate chips

Method
Simply measure out all ingredients into a large mixing bowl, and stir all together. Pour into 6 mini-loaf parchment cases. Bake in a preheated oven for 30 min, at 180 degrees celsius.

Note:
Little hands love pouring ingredients as they are measured into the mixing bowl, and stirring after each addition! I think coconut oil would be a lovely substitution. Note to self to try that next. The original recipe is for a single family-sized loaf - if so, bake for about 60 minutes.